Monday, March 26, 2012

Obama vs. Roosevelt

It should be noted:
We here at Hail to the Chief... to the Death intend that this blog be for entertainment
and wise-ass only purposes. We do not condone, nor do we encourage, violence
against any president: former or current, living or dead, real or fictional.

Barack Obama
44th President of the United States
Serving: 2009-Present
Age in office: 47-49

Arena Experience:
1st Round: 90.48% of 21 votes against Andrew Johnson
2nd Round: 76.47% of 17 votes against Thomas "Tug" Benson
3rd Round: 76.19% of 21 votes against David Palmer
4th Round: 53.88% of 701 votes against Josiah "Jed" Bartlet

PROS: He's young, athletic and in great shape. He's got smarts and he's a cool customer. He also doesn't back down from a challenge, even if he is an underdog.

CONS: He maybe has a tendency to be too thoughtful. This is a good thing when you're in the Oval Office, trying to come up with a way to revamp the nation's health care system. It's not so good in the Arena.

Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt
26th President of the United States
Served: 1901-1909
Ages during term: 42-50

Arena Experience
1st Round: 100% of 19 votes against Baxter Harris
2nd Round: 100% of 21 votes against Mays Gilliam
3rd Round: 73% of 37 votes against Abraham Lincoln
4th Round: 88.6% of 44 votes against John F. Kennedy

PROS: Was an avid adventurer and all around physical specimen. Survived an assassination attempt in spectacular fashion. Was Teddy Effing Roosevelt.

CONS: Physical fitness was mostly a ruse to cover up being physically dubious. Boxing matches while president had a tendency to leave him slightly blinded.

Pre-Fight Analysis
Doug: Roosevelt's going to be a tough one for Obama. While Obama is quite athletic and keep good care of his body, Roosevelt is, well, Roosevelt. He stormed San Juan Hill. He hung out in the Badlands. He hunted big game. And yes, he once gave a speech, despite the fact that he had just been shot in the chest.

Being a Chicago politician, Obama is prone to the occasional voter irregularity in the Arena...
In case you don't feel like scrolling up a bit.
... I believe that this was more of an anti-Bartlet movement and less of a pro-Obama movement.

So, although Obama has plenty going for him, this is going to be Roosevelt's show.

Tony: By now, everyone knows that TR was my choice to win the entire tournament. So, I obviously have a little skin in this game. But man, this is gonna be a tough one for ol' Ted. He's been holding his own against some tough competition, but Barack Obama is definitely the toughest opponent he's faced to this point. Like JFK, Obama is relatively young. However, unlike JFK, Obama is physically sound. Will that be enough to make a difference?

Well, considering the last time Theodore Roosevelt faced a young and able competitor, he won with 73% of the vote, I don't think Obama is going to fare much better. It's gonna be tough, but TR will make it through to the championship. Obama's consolation will be a third-place matchup, and an education into how a true Progressive fights. Roosevelt for the win!

The Chief: I'm sure, at this point, you understand the concept of Semifinals; the winner of this match goes on to the Championships. So make it count. Be heard! Vote and comment. Voting closes Friday at 9am Mountain Time.

Obama vs. Roosevelt


  1. Food for thought, per Internet:

    TR - 5' 8", 200lb (per, wiki says 5' 10")
    Obama - 6' 1", 180lb

    I like Obama's reach, but I can't help but wonder if he has the Old Man Girth to get this one done. TR definitively fights dirty, and because fights sink to the lowest common denominator, the competitor who's shape most resembles a perfectly round sphere has the advantage.

    I think you have to vote TR here.

  2. I know doug and tony dislike the turn out of w.bush vs whh but I like to belive harrison won because of experience and guile. Obama may be in top physical shape but he has no experience in a real brawl. This is where teddy excels and I think He will be able to defeat obama. But I think roosevelt will have alot of dents in his fender.

  3. Lets be honest, Roosevelt was bad ass. But he could never take Obama in a fight. Obama is in better physical condition, all around. No detached retinas, no injuries, no bullet holes. And if anyone thinks Obama cant handle himself in a fight, just remember, he was a community organizer on the South Side of Chicago. Roosevelt lived in an upper class community in upstate new york. Please.

  4. Obama will win this. Hoodie or not.

    TR as President was not the same man who charged up San Juan hill. He would be wheezing half way up! Obama plays (and wins!) basketball all the time. TR gets his permanent, debilitating damage from boxing.

    Obama is a lanky, tough arena tyrant. He wins against the fAded hero with no issue.