What if every president in America's rich history squared off in a no-holds-barred tournament of death? What if, in the interests of expanding the field to an easy-to-handle 64, the presidents were joined by a select group of fictional presidents, all vying for the title of Supreme Commander in Chief? This blog attempts to answer those questions with humor, irreverence, and hopefully without major bloodshed between the two authors.
Last week, we took a look at the Presidential Bracket picks I made before we got this train rolling. This week, it's time to take a look at what Doug picked. Yes, we'll be comparing what Doug picked... what, 15, 16 months ago? Anyway, we'll be comparing them against the official BEWB of HTTCTTD. Also, we'll be comparing them against my picks, because... of course we will.
Anyway, here's his bracket.
Hmm, there's some familiar stuff here, isn't there? Time to dig in.
Yeah, okay. Right off the bat, there are a couple of "Whoa, really?"s. I mean, he started out so well. He nailed the first two matches. Then, he went and pegged David Rice Atchison as a winner over Dwight. D. Effing Eisenhower. And that, my friends, is something I think we can safely call "Crazyballs."Atchison was never really president! I mean, really! Ah, but it gets better: he pegged Love Actually's Unnamed President as beating James Monroe. Yeah. He did that. Aside from that? Well, to be fair, he did peg the popularity of Kang and Whitmore, and once you get past his second round, things even out.
Points for this bracket: 22. Which, um... beats my 17 points. Damn.
The later-to-become Border Ruffian got as many votes as Dwight D. Eisenenhower (who, by the way, was in terrible health condition). So really, instead of "Crazyballs," I imagine you meant to say "Crazy Close." As for me picking Unnamed over Monroe... meh. I'm okay with missing that one. It's not like I had Billy Bob taking it all.
Quick aside: Doug and I are trivia nerds. Surprised? No, you're not. But what I'm talking about is the semi-competitive pub trivia type of trivia. And in that game, there's nothing more frustrating than when you come up with the right answer, then erase it and put down something else. Which of course, brings me to Doug's projected winner in the Polk/Truman match. D'oh! He had Truman, then he crossed that out and went with Polk. Oh, and he rode Polk to the next round. Whoopsie-daisy! Other than that, well, he picked Nixon over Tom Beck, but... I did that also, so I guess I can't give him too much crap. And he also had Reagan in the third round, which: no. But other than that, yeah, great!
Points for this bracket: 19. I win this one! Woo! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Doug's response: Yeah, that kind of sucks that I changed that one. My thinking was that Polk was known as "Young Hickory" because he was kind of like Andrew Jackson. Plus, the They Might Be Giants song had to have gained him some nerd votes, right? No, apparently not. And Reagan? I still hold that he should have made the Round of 16.
Oh. Uh. Okay, I'm sorry, my friend Prince has something to say about this:
Yeah. Well, to be fair, Doug made one of the same mistakes I did: assuming that a president who personally dispatched terrorists off his plane could kill a paralyzed man. Ha! We're so silly, the two of us. Unfortunately for Doug, he took Marshall all the way through the bracket which... didn't turn out so well in real life. The rest of his first round went slightly better; yeah, he had John Quincy Adams instead of Franklin Pierce, but that was a tossup. However, things just went off a cliff after the first round, as he had only one correct pick in the in the remaining matches. Oof.
Points for this round: 8. Brutal. I mean, I had 9 and all, which... okay, let's move on.
Doug's response: Yeah, no. This is just awful.
And Doug rebounds from the ugliness of the Marshall bracket with this far more respectable entry. Doug fell into the Dubya trap, and backed Camacho for a little too long. He also had Dave over JFK, which is another one of those coin flips that I can't really fault him for, wont though I am to do just that. Still, the Dubya/Camacho thing really hoses the lower half of his bracket. Nice first half though, you have to give him that.
Points in this bracket: 17. This was the bracket I killed with 22 points, so... yeah.
Doug's response: Of course I backed the future five-time Ultimate Smackdown Champion. He's the future five-time Ultimate Smackdown Champion!
Just look at how his vice president disappears!
Oof. Doug came into the Rushmore Four with three of his four picks intact, and what's more, he already aced the first Rushmore Four match. I don't really know how the math shakes out, but... I guess it's possible he could win this thing? I feel ill. It's going to come down to the final showdown to settle this thing, isn't it? And that means... it's on.
The Chief: Any of you who have read this far know what the deal is here, so... we'll see you on Friday.