Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt
26th President of the United States
Ages during term: 42-50
Arena Experience: Probably has the most impressive Arena résumé to date. Having pitched shutouts against both of his previous opponents. He shut out Baxter Harris, then went on to blank Mays Gilliam. Solid.
PROS: Is Teddy Roosevelt, American Badass. Oh, you want more? Fine. Roosevelt was an avid outdoorsman for most of his life. And when we say "outdoorsman," we mean it-- hunting, mountaineering, general expeditioneering, he did it all. Also, during his attempt to run for a third term in office, Roosevelt was shot before delivering a speech. He stayed to finish said speech, and only went to the hospital afterwards. BAD. ASS.
CONS: Teddy's vigor was a way of making up for being hella sick as a child. Could that come back and bite him in the ass? Possibly. Also, Teddy was a man who could fall into a serious funk. Relevant? Eh, maybe.
16th President of the United States
Ages Served: 52-56
Arena Experience: Lincoln met with Zachary Taylor in the 1st Round and finished him off with 84.5% of the vote. Moving on to the 2nd Round, he met his own general and close friend, Ulysses S. Grant. Lincoln earned 62.5% of the vote, getting him a ticket to the Round of 16.
PROS: As a boy, Lincoln figured out that the only way out of a life of the poor farmer was some fancy book learnin'. Since he couldn't afford an education, he taught himself. From there, he hoisted himself out of a life of having to survive horse kicks to the head and milk poisoning and into the life of being a lawyer. So, while he's a hard enough worker to pull himself out of a life of manual labor, he's still tough enough to survive milk poisoning and a kick to the head from a horse.
CONS: Lincoln was kind of a one-man failure parade for most of his life. Oh sure, in the beginning of his law career, he quickly became well-respected, and in the last five years of his life, he pulled off an unlikely presidential election win and had a presidency that is still regarded as one of the best in our history. But between that was a series of failed businesses and lost elections. Also, there's evidence that he may have been depressed, even suicidal.
Doug: Wow! Talk about an unlucky draw for Lincoln. War hero in the 1st Round. In the 2nd Round? Another war hero. So, he's done with war heroes, right? No. In the Round of 16, he has to face the guy who resigned his cushy job serving under a Cabinet member to become a war hero.
I'm pretty sure if it was a 9-year-old Lincoln facing off against a 9-year-old Roosevelt, Lincoln would mop the floor with the rich asthmatic city boy. However, this is President Roosevelt against President Lincoln.
|These two have spent the last several decades just staring at each other.|
Tony: Yeah, Lincoln's going to be doing well for himself if he even convinces anyone to vote for him. But as for beating Roosevelt? I'm just not seeing it. Which isn't to say that Roosevelt should be overlooking the ol' Union Splitter, but let's list some facts: TR was a war hero. Lincoln was not. TR was a Nobel laureate. Lincoln? Not so much. TR had the blood of long forgotten gods coursing through his veins. Lincoln? Just had the red stuff.
Okay, so I may have made that last bit up. But then, there's this:
|Yes. Oh, yes. Source|
Bottom line? TR may be tested here, but he's gonna sail into the next round.
The Chief: Well, readers... now, it's up to you. Or down to you. One of those, certainly. Whatever, the point is, it's voting time. You know what to do!