Monday, February 27, 2012

Washington vs. Ryan

George Washington
1st President of the United States
Served: 1789-1797
Ages during term: 57-65

Arena Experience
1st Round: 92.5% of 40 votes against Mike Brady
2nd Round: 93.75% of 16 votes against Grover Cleveland
3rd Round: 95% of 21 votes against Martin Van Buren

PROS: Is one helluva guy. You know, the kind who can wrestle/box you into submission, or also outmaneuver the vastly superior forces of his opponent into submission. Either one.

CONS: Doesn't have a spotless record, militaristically-speaking.

Jack Ryan
Served as President in the Tom Clancy novels Debt of Honor, Executive Orders, and The Bear and the Dragon.
Age: Indeterminate. Wikipedia gives an birthdate in 1950, and Debt of Honor is implied to take place sometime around 1995-96. So, yeah, something like that.

Arena Experience
1st Round: 76.47% of 34 votes against Millard Fillmore
2nd Round: 75% of 20 votes against Tom Beck
3rd Round: 53.33% of 45 votes against Harry S Truman

PROS: Let's review how he became president. After a lifetime of being plain old awesome, "they" decided to make Ryan the vice president -- very similar to how Theodore Roosevelt got the gig. The night he was "veeped" (that's a word, right?), a jet crashed into the Capitol, killing lots of people including the president, but excluding Ryan.

CONS: He's a daredevil who has a habit of biting off more than he can chew, and we're not just saying that because he was once portrayed by Ben Affleck who once portrayed Daredevil. True, he has had a long history of prevailing, but his luck is bound to run out eventually.

Pre-Fight Analysis
Tony: If this were a battle of name recognition, then hey, it'd probably be no contest. My informal polling tells me that 117% of people have heard of George Washington. Jack Ryan? Eh, slightly less than that. However! This is a fight to the death, a no-holds-barred contest of physical prowess and mental fortitude. In that light, this contest becomes a little harder to call.

Both of these guys have impressive credentials: Ryan as a world-saving CIA analyst, Washington as the Father of the United States. Again, those don't seem equal, but I encourage our voters to look a little deeper at this one. To explore the Arena space, if you will. If they do, I think they'll be impressed at how close this match should be.

And then, they'll vote for Washington, because: seriously.

Doug: This is a fight between two people who got shit done. It may not have looked pretty at times, but in the end, the fat King George stopped pushing us around / the world wasn't obliterated.

That being said, I think the only thing that may ruin things for Ryan would be the fact that things weren't constantly exploding around him. The lack of explosions could probably just distract him. It's going to take him a while to get used to the fact that there's only one person after him at a time, and that he has no other risks to watch out for. Once he gets a handle on that, he could probably take Washington down.

One more thing before I go. Imagine how awesome the painting Ryan Crossing the Delaware would be.

Oh, yes. Oh... oh... yes.
This seems kind of boring in comparison, doesn't it?
The Chief: Vote! Comment! Only one of these men will make it to the Rushmore Four.

Washington vs. Ryan

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