Monday, December 26, 2011

Jackson vs. Eisenhower

Andrew Jackson
7th President of the United States
Served: 1829-1837
Ages during term: 62-70

Arena Experience: Jackson cruised in the first round against William Howard Taft, and absolutely demolished Mars Attacks' James Dale in the second round.

Pros: Hella tough (lifetime of kicking ass and escaping various wars), and hella lucky (the whole "assassin jumps out and fires two pistols, both of which jam" event).

Cons: Somewhat aged by the time he reached the Presidency; also has questionable skills when robbed of his favorite beatin' cane.
Not surprisingly, the guy who told Jackson he couldn't take
his cane into the Arena got beaten with Jackson's cane.

Dwight D. Eisenhower
34th President of the United States
Served: 1953-1961
Ages during term: 62-70

Arena Experience: Eisenhower needed to take David Rice Atchison to a tiebreaker, but scored a more decisive win against Bill Clinton.

Pros: His middle initial does not stand for for "D-Day," though it totally could as he oversaw the Normandy invasion. He was also quite the athlete back in his day.
He had quite a kick, too.

Cons: "His day" had long since passed. And although his military experience was massively impressive, it included little hand-to-hand combat. He had heart problems and was suffering from Crohn's Disease.

Pre-game Analysis
Doug: I'd have to say that at first, I thought Jackson would have had this sewn up. Eisenhower doesn't nearly have the temper or the experience physically beating someone himself. Both were very successful generals and they were both the same age when they began they were in the White House.

On one hand, you have Eisenhower's heart that was ready to self-destruct. On the other hand, you have Andrew Jackson who reportedly rattled like a "bag of marbles" from the bullets of his duels still lodged in his body.

Eisenhower could pull this one out.

Tony: He could, but he won't. These two are actually fairly evenly matched in most areas... except for, you know, the stuff you pointed out. Like temper: the same edge that got Ol' Hickory into all these duels is the same edge that's going to win him this fight. Plus, like you even said, there's the experience factor? So, yeah, aside from the two rather large and glaring advantages for Jackson, they're practically the same guy!

The Chief: Readers, now it's your turn! As always, voting is open until 9am Mountain Time on Friday. We'll be back on Wednesday with more!

Jackson vs. Eisenhower


  1. The Female of the SpeciousDecember 26, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    Has a musical been written entitled "Bloody Bloody Dwight D. Eisenhower"?


    I didn't think so.

  2. Andrew Jackson is a badass, in the classical, Cobra Kai sense. But did not the weaker Daniel-san defeat the bully in the end? Let me give you a hint: Ike = Ralph Macchio, Jackson = William Zabka. Let's crane that bank busting, Indian removing SOB!!! Ike wins...and then gets Elizabeth Shue to boot!

  3. Steve Guttenberg's awesomenessDecember 27, 2011 at 6:39 AM

    i'm thinking eisenhower wins because he can outsmart jackson. a monkey with down's syndrome could outwit andy jackson. eisenhower will control the arena, making the fight his way or the highway, which is also his! eisenhower pulls a rope-a-dope on jackson and brings down the godless fighting could take it to the bank!

  4. Battle of New Orleans, General Jackson was on the battle field threatening to shoot his own soldiers if they tried to retreat. Eisenhower was 100 miles away on the Loveboat drinkin mai tai's and playin shuffleboard on the Lido deck while D-day was going down.

    Jackson was truly a bad ass......he should win this whole freakin thing.