Friday, December 16, 2011

Ex-CIA Director Neutralizes Tippecanoe

George H.W. Bush's CIA know-how proved to be no match for the fatally ill William Henry Harrison.
Bush's fists did the talking in this matchup of familial vengeance.

Bush vs. Harrison
George H.W. Bush   16 (66.7%)
William Henry Harrison        8  (33.3%)

Once again, Bush has gone up against a Harrison, and once again, he ended up with exactly two-thirds of the vote. We hope the CIA isn't monitoring this blog and rigging the votes so that their former director wins by a big margin.

At this point, we're expected to explain how someone able to easily defeat the younger and athletic Bush would get tripped up by the older one. And wouldn't you know, we thought of something. It could be argued that Harrison's first bout took place in the small window of time when he was president but not yet dying. However, after winning his first fight and waiting around for the second fight, Harrison must have caught pneumonia. Right? We don't know. Try not to think too hard about the specifics.

Looking past whatever happened in the First Round, a George H.W. Bush - William Henry Harrison matchup seems pretty straight forward.
Say what you will about Bush, he went up against a very ill 68-year-old. Only major mess up on Bush's part would have ended his Arena run.

Bush moves on to the Round of 16, which is scheduled for Feb. 13.
Join us next week when John F. Kennedy takes on Idiocracy's Dwayne E.M.D.H. Camacho.

2 comments:

  1. Scootaloo the InarguableDecember 16, 2011 at 1:41 PM

    "At this point, we're expected to explain how someone able to easily defeat the younger and athletic Bush would get tripped up by the older one."

    Greatest Generation.

    Q.E.D.
    *drops mic*

    ReplyDelete
  2. I had no idea Tom Brokaw read our blog! This is great!

    ReplyDelete