Years Served: 1989-1993
Ages during term: 64-68
Arena experience: Ol' H.W. doubled up on Benjamin Harrison in the first round.
PROS: Bush was an incredibly accomplished prep school kid who dropped everything to enlist in World War II. He spent the war in the Pacific bombing the shit out of freedom's enemies, then survived his bomber being hit-- and by "survived," we mean he had to bail out of his plane. This instilled a love of bailing-out-of-planes that the now ex-president indulges in to this day. He entered into politics with a wealth of connections, which means he knew folks who could get things done, dammit.
CONS: Bush spent his time in national office dodging question after question about how tough he was. He also proved adept at ignoring calamities that were unfolding right under his nose, which would prove unfortunate when the economy tanked under said nose, and Bush did nothing, leading to his defeat in 1992.
Served March 4, 1841 - April 4, 1841
Age during term: 68
Arena Experience: Harrison defeated George W. Bush with 60.9% of the vote, though we suspect that the voters allowed their politics to play too big of a role in deciding that one.
PROS: Harrison was in the U.S. Army and served as a major general in the Indiana Territory militia. While in the militia, he kept Tecumseh and company at bay during the War of 1812 and went on an all-out land grab to claim Indiana for the U.S. The guy doesn't back down.
CONS: The guy doesn't back down. Even when it comes to things like putting on a coat when he's about to give a long inaugural speech during a winter storm. Even when it comes to taking it easy when he has pneumonia. Things like that lead to sort presidential terms, and even shorter fights.
Tony: Okay, time for straight talk. You and I both know that William Henry Harrison, he of the one month presidency, had no business surviving his first round fight. He was just lucky to go up against someone with a lower approval rating than cancer. Well, now he's going up against George Herbert Walker Bush, and he's going to get his face caved in. Let's look at the facts:
- H.W. is hardcore
- The Bush family have a habit of sticking up for one another; witness Dubya wanting to kick Garry Trudeau's ass for saying mean things about his dad.
- Harrison dispatched Dubya in the Arena.
No, of course not. And I don't know why I made Harrison sound like a fancy British gentleman, because he wasn't one. In fact, he spent his military career in the Indiana wilderness, removing the people who had been there for generations, which proved quite the challenge.
Point being, Harrison is no slouch himself. And he too has the taste for revenge.
Tony: I'm just talking about Bush!
Doug: Then I can dig it.
But seriously, on paper, this may not be the best of circumstances for Harrison. In reality (actually, that should read "in 'reality'") though, he has already beaten a pretty fit and athletic president in the Arena. Clearly, the voters see something in Tippecanoe that you may be overlooking.
You want me to ask Noriega (the School of the Americas graduate and the guy who worked with the CIA, even when G.H.W. Bush was heading it) about Bush's wimpitude, or should we ask Shawnee chief Tecumseh about William Henry Harrison's? Because there's no common link between Harrison and Tecumseh before they met on the battlefield, unlike Bush and Noriega. It's not like Tecumseh learned his military techniques through Americans only to be deposed by an American president, which seems to be the case with Noriega.
Maybe "wimp" isn't the word with this dealing with Noriega. Maybe "shady" is a better word.
They would be ignoring the fact W.H.H. is going to hit H.W. like a log cabin.