Thomas J. Whitmore
Fictional President of the United States played by Bill Pullman
Served: In the film Independence Day (1996)
Age during term: Pullman was 42 when the movie was released
Arena Experience — Whitmore beat James A. Garfield with 64.6% of the vote in his 1st Round appearance. While that percentage may not seem all that impressive, it should be noted that we had an all-time record number of voters that week. And given that a lot of the new voters were brought in from an unbiased source — as opposed to other weeks with abnormally high voting — we could assume that the sample size was large enough to paint a more accurate picture.
PROS: Whitmore's a young guy — possibly entered office in his 30s — who is also a twice-over war hero. He fought in the Persian Gulf War, and he led a squadron fighting off the massive alien invasion in which millions upon millions of people died. Yes, as president. So, he's ready for a fight when needed.
CONS: His pre-Arena fighting experience is less-than stellar and includes a fist fight with uber-nerd David Levinson, who survived without any permanent injuries. Also, Whitmore has a hard time commanding respect; or at least he did before he helped beat the aliens.
3rd President of the United States
Ages Served: 57-65
Arena Experience — In a light-voting week, Jefferson gained about 61% of the vote against the fictional Mackenzie Allen from the show Commander In Chief. Rowing enthusiasts everywhere wept at the result.
PROS: As President, Jefferson is something of a loose cannon, as evidenced by his handling of the whole Louisiana Purchase situation, and the subsequent taxation of the United States' newest (un-represented) citizens.
CONS: Jefferson's fighting ability (outside of the arena) is about nil. He was an amazing writer, a passionate lover, but a fighter? Not so much.
|"Aww, crap. Give me a minute and let me Force Quit."|
Tony: Well, see, that's just what Whitmore wants you to think. He's a macho fighter pilot! He's not going to want to admit he got slapped around by the Fly! So he downgrades the whole experience to "oh, we just traded punches and then it got broken up." Pride = saved. And since he didn't face another nerd in round one, he was home free!
Doug: Oh, I see. You're saying Levinson mopped the floor with Whitmore, and now Whitmore is downplaying the fight as an elaborate cover-up. Quite the controversy EXCEPT we've never heard Whitmore even mentioning the fight. Levinson was the one downplaying the severity of the fight. If Whitmore is trying to keep the fight secret, it's because he doesn't want word getting out that he's a nerd-beater. Nerds have a pretty high voter turnout rate, and it would be political suicide to run on the "I fight nerds" platform.
|And not everyone will understand their protest signs.|
Tony: I can't really get in Levinson's head about the whole fight fiasco. I mean, all I know about that guy is that he's handy with an old school MacBook, and that he thinks you must go faster. Oh, and he thought he was part of something special. But I digress.
Doug: Okay, I suppose there is a possibility that Whitmore's weakness is nerds. But there's no real proof this is true and since we're pulling something out of thin air, I'm going to go ahead and posit that Jefferson's weakness (aside from the complete lack of fighting of experience, which history has already proven) could be widowers.
Ehh, it kind of makes sense. Jefferson's a widower, so he's knows what Whitmore is going through, so he holds back. I don't know. It makes more sense than "Fighter pilot can't beat up nerds."
As for the Cracked article, this proves nothing. Whitmore wasn't worried about re-election, he was worried about getting rid of the aliens. If he didn't get rid of the aliens, there wasn't going to be another election. He did what he could to win this war with the aliens. The only people he killed by nuking Houston were the ones who stayed in one of the nation's remaining populated cities — despite what was happening to other major metropolitan areas around the world — who were about to get vaporized anyway. So this only proves that Whitmore will do whatever he can to win.
Jefferson is Houston. And he has a problem. And I'm not talking about the abysmal Astros.
|HEY-O! They were terrible this year. And I'm a Met fan, so I know terrible baseball.|
The Chief: You realize the original quote was "Houston, we've had a problem," and not "Houston, we have a problem," right?
Ugh. Damn pop culture-obsessed jerks don't even know the real quote. They just go with what was in the movie. Lousy kids — Anyway, polls close Friday at 9am, MDT.