Actually, it's probably not fair to say that this is what's left of the Capitol. This is what's left of the Capitol, plus they've been rebuilding it, so it was probably in even worse condition than this.
Washington D.C. is completely mobbed with people to see the president speak first hand, though we can't help but wonder how everyone got there. The city was pretty much wiped out. Everyone who happened to be in D.C. when the asteroid hit, as well as anyone else who happened to be within about 500 miles of the Atlantic Ocean was washed away.
How did they all get there? The megatsunami must have done some damage to the roadways and train tracks. Okay, maybe they flew. Where are they staying? Clearly, there are no hotels for them.
Maybe this cataclysm makes way for the 21st century answer to the Hooverville.
Now what happens?
Tony: America is so, sooooo screwed. I mean, did the asteroid wipe out China? Russia? India? No, no it did not.
Doug: Yeah, I guess the only ones who really have our backs (usually, anyway) are just on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. They're pretty much inundated with their own problems to be bailing us out (puns totally and completely intended).
Tony: Also, consider that the Atlantic is probably now a massive garbage pond. Certainly that wouldn't have dire consequences!
Doug: Right. All of those buildings that should be around the U.S. Capitol, but aren't went somewhere, and there's a good chance most of it went back into the ocean. Okay, so the Washington Monument is now in the ocean, so what? We'll build a new one, bigger and better.
Tony: And that's not the half of it. Quick-- how many nuclear power plants are within range of the tsunami wave?
|A few, it turns out.|
Doug: You've got a shit ton of radioactive water and debris floating around in the Atlantic. Or, think about the hazardous material that didn't quite make it back to the ocean. There's a possibility that a good portion of the land is dealing with unimaginable pollution issues.
What the hell is Beck doing in D.C.? He shouldn't be there, and he certainly shouldn't be encouraging people to travel there in droves to see him. Denver should be made the temporary capital — assuming that's a constitutional move — before we figure out if people should even be stepping foot on the East Coast.
|"Those clowns in Denver don't know what the hell they're doing!"|
Tony: So, thanks for the happy ending there, Deep Impact, but I'm calling bullshit.
The Chief: Well speculated, gentlemen. Readers! There's still a fight to attend to! Vote on Beck vs. Ryan, leave some juicy comments, and we'll be back on Friday.