Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Everybody Hates Mays

Poor Mays Gilliam. He just can't catch a break. First, there was all of that nonsense he had to go through in the beginning of the movie. He lost his girlfriend, his job and his car all in a few scenes. True, that luck turned around long enough for him to be elected president, but at what cost?

The movie about his presidency, Head of State, wasn't all that great (31% rating on Rotten Tomatoes) and his election into office meant that he would be drafted into the Presidential Gladiatorial Arena™, which hasn't gone so well either. We're not sure if he got a crappy draw or if our readers think he would make a crappy combatant.

In the 1st Round, he barely got by James Madison, beating the pint-sized president by only one vote. That only meant that he would go on to meet Teddy Roosevelt in the 2nd Round.

Just for reference, Roosevelt has yet to get a single vote cast against him, in this (as of Wednesday morning) or in his previous fight. So, I suppose we can just chalk this up to standard Mays Gilliam luck.

The saddest part is that his own TV dad (sort of) is around to see him lose.

As we've discussed before, Terry Crews played the president in Idiocracy. He also played the father in the '00s sitcom, Everybody Hates Chris. The show was supposedly a look back at Chris Rock's childhood growing up in Bed-Stuy in the early '80s.

Yes, we know that technically, there's a difference between Rock's character in the Head of State and the protagonist in Everybody Hates Chris. One grew up in D.C. and the other in Brooklyn. Also, they have different names. However, both are narrated by Rock in quite the same style. In fact, watching Head of State kind of feels like watching an exaggerated version of what would happen if Rock ran for president.

So for the sake of argument, let's just say they're basically the same person.

I guess this whole theory goes to crap when we try to argue that Julius, the father from Everybody Hates Chris, is the same guy as the 26th-century president in Idiocracy.

Whatever, we're sticking to it.

We understand it's the will of the electorate, but it must be hard for Chris Rock's TV-dad to see his son die.

Will you survive, Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho? Will you? I suppose we can find out next month when he's set to fight in the 2nd Round.

In the meantime, feel free to pile on some more hate onto Mays Gilliam in this week's fight.

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