Friday, April 15, 2011


The Little Magician needs to sit down after such a vicious fight.
It's not like they call him Young Kinderhook
Van Buren used his powers to become the only person to defeat two people at one time in the ring. (Though Nixon's Head and a Headless Spiro Agnew actually adds up to one whole person... or should we say, one whole loser.)

Nixon's Head vs. Van Buren
Nixon's Head  8  (38.1%)
Martin Van Buren    13 (61.9%)

This came as a bit of a surprise. With Spiro Agnew doing most of the fighting, we expected Nixon's Head to eke out a win. Instead, Van Buren pulled out the win by quite a margin. How did this happen?
Ouch, harsh words from the man who deemed Nixon worthy enough to share his presidential ticket... TWICE. But, Ike has a point. Seriously, Dick, wearing makeup isn't girly if you're going to be on TV. We're kind of curious if Eisenhower will support the whole Richard M. Nixon, and not the reanimated one from the 31st century. We'll find out in a few weeks.

Martin Van Buren will advance to the 2nd Round, where he is scheduled to face Ronald Reagan Oct. 10. Stay tuned for Monday, when polls open for James K. Polk vs. Harry S Truman. In the meantime, any NYC-area readers best beware... the Van Buren Boys are going to be whooping it up tonight.

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