Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Whitmore and the Brilliant but Canceled

This has yet to be proven, but we theorize that President Thomas J. Whitmore has a bit of a magic touch. He selects someone close to him, blesses that person and years later, that person plays a major part in a critically-acclaimed yet under-appreciated TV show.

Take, for instance, Major Mitchell.

Mitchell (right) is the commanding officer of Area 51. He helps Whitmore greatly in the second half of the movie. He even personally shoots the alien after it had run amok started communicating with Whitmore telepathically.

Good job, Major Mitchell! Whitmore will give you a show with a cult following. Since you were the commanding officer of Area 51, maybe something pertaining to outer space.

Ahh, perfect!

Maybe your character will even get his own folk song.


Yes, Major Mitchell was played by Adam Baldwin, who later went on to play Jayne Cobb in Firefly and the film Serenity. Fox gave Firefly one more episode than That '80s Show, which aired the same year. However, unlike Firefly, That '80s Show was absolutely horrible. Baldwin is now in the more successful — which doesn't equal better — TV series Chuck.

Well, Whitmore gave cult status to the guy at Area 51, what about his own daughter?

Being the president's daughter is tough. It's nowhere near close to a normal childhood, plus Patricia Whitmore's mother died when she was pretty young. What can Daddy Whitmore do for his only child?

Hmm, that seems fair enough. Mae Whitman would go on to play play George Michael Bluth's girlfriend and the inventor of the Mayonegg in Arrested Development.

Yes, her in the background.

Despite its rave reviews, Fox canned the show after 3 seasons — not even full seasons — to make way for the infinitely shitty 'Til Death — which lasted longer. Whitman can now be seen in Parenthood.

If we want to make a Firefly connection, Whitman's character's father in Arrested Development was played by Alan Tudyk, who played Hoban Washburne, or "Wash," on Firefly. And like Thomas Whitmore, Wash was a pilot.

President Whitmore helped out his daughter and the Area 51 guy, but what about the boyfriend of the daughter of the drunk pilot that takes down that first craft?


Okay, so the drunk crop duster's daughter is in the car with the guy who tries to pressure her into having sex. Well later, she meets a much nicer guy. At least, in an earlier script she did. This nice guy doesn't make the final cut of the movie. It's probably just as well. As is, the movie ran over 2-1/2 hours long. Who cares about the drunk crop duster's daughter? It's not even worth going back to get a screenshot of her.

Her would-be boyfriend, though cut from the film, still got credit.

Devon Gummersall played Brian Krakow in My So-Called Life.

"Uhh... umm."

My So-Called Life lasted 19 episodes, until ABC — the same network that kept Full House and According to Jim for eight seasons each— pulled the plug.

Maybe Whitmore's touch doesn't count in Gummersall's case because 1) the show aired before the movie came out, 2) he was cut from the film and/or 3) his character wouldn't have had direct contact with Whitmore anyway.

Either way, we felt we had to include him. Since he was a part of a brilliant show that was canceled before its time, we felt it was somewhat related. And since we already had Adam Baldwin and Mae Whitman, we felt we couldn't really break the Rule of Threes.

But while rooting through the film's credits, this nugget was found:

Finding Anastos in Independence Day proved to be difficult, but you may recognize him for this slip-up.

Be sure to vote in Thomas J. Whitmore's fight against James A. Garfield, if you haven't already. And, in the words of Ernie Anastos, keep fucking that chicken.

Whatever that means.

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